Table of content
- Smile sincerely
- From personal experience
- How to make our first meeting not ended in a minute?
- Be confident.
- Pay attention to your appearance.
- No flowers!
- Cozy cafe is the best meeting place.
- Always pays a man.
- Don’t forget the compliments!
- Don’t brag!
- Don’t complain!
- Avoid talking about political, religious and national topics!
- Be friendly, but unobtrusive!
Once I was in a relationship with a beautiful man and was happy. And then everything collapsed. Not immediately, of course, but more on that some other time. Of course, I was worried. And for a long time. And then decided it was time to create a new relationship. And about a month ago I registered on a Dating site.
There was a time when I listened with detachment about the endless unsuccessful attempts of my friends “to find something decent there”. They often complained that the first dates with “amazing men” ended up being the last. Therefore, starting this stage, I tried to foresee if not all, then a lot. And to my surprise, every time everything went well!
In solving this problem, I have formulated a few simple rules, and now I want to share them. Let’s start with the most important.
Smile sincerely
We can’t have a Gioconda smile. Sometimes men fall into a strange stupor from such “female tricks” with a claim to the notorious mystery. We can’t have a Hollywood smile with 32 teeth. Psychologists have long explained why.
The only requirement to your smile: it must be sincere. You ask how can you smile to a stranger, but still sincere? Just think about how sincere you are now! You’re really glad you came to the meeting, and here he is, waiting for you, and you’re really happy to see him, aren’t you?
And another secret will reveal to you: there’s nothing worse than polite smiles at first date. Think about it, what it can say to your chosen one? Personally, I see something like this interpretation: “Well, it’s very nice, of course, that you came, but I’m so all polite, and that’s why I’m smiling at you so politely. I’m sure you like me already, because I’m so polite.”
From personal experience
To successfully use this technique, it is enough to create inside a special elated mood, which I like to call “quiet delight”. Why quiet? And why is the rapture? On the one hand, you do not gush uncontrollable emotions, on the other — do not exhaust your interlocutor disturbing thoughts about your inner trouble. That is, we are looking for a middle ground.
If your delight is quiet, then it can be restrained, but it is still present. It inevitably manifests itself from time to time in the first place erupts in your intonation, a smile. And your smile is really joyful and sincere. Because at this moment you let out your inner sun.
How to behave on the first date so that it did not become the last meeting with this man? How to interest him in person? How to evoke sympathy? The psychologist shares with the readers Passion.ru the secrets of a successful first date.
How to behave on the first date so that it did not become the last meeting with this man? How to interest him in person? How to evoke sympathy? The psychologist shares with the readers Passion.ru the secrets of a successful first date.
In one humorous transfer there was a plot about the first appointment of the woman and the man. They agreed to ask each other three questions.
Most often, at the first meeting, people are constantly cracking, trying to convey their dignity to the interlocutor, or likened to a meticulous investigator conducting an interrogation with addiction. Both do not contribute to the development of relations.
According to psychological research, the first impression of a person is formed in just one minute.
Then this impression is confirmed or refuted, but it takes much more time.
How to make our first meeting not ended in a minute?
We usually like people who look like us. With such people it is easier to get along, that is to communicate more effectively.
People who have good contact and trust even begin to behave in a similar way. It turns out that to please another person, you need to be like him.
This did not necessarily assent companion through every word and how the monkey copy his gestures.
It is enough to build communication around the sphere of his interests and find common ground. If these points are not, you should not be upset – why do you need a person with whom you have nothing in common?
There are several skills with which you can not only be interested in the person you like, but also to understand whether to continue to get acquainted with him.
Let’s take a closer look at the skills of an interesting interlocutor and, as a consequence, an attractive person.
The first beauty of the office agreed to have a Cup of coffee with you after work? A charming handsome man from the Internet site invited you on a date? A pretty neighbor in the country offered to celebrate the end of the holiday season with a glass of wine?
Regardless of the circumstances of Dating the first date is always associated with considerable excitement for both participants of the rendezvous. The advice of our expert psychologist will help you make a positive impression on the most demanding lady and the most discerning gentleman.
1. Be confident
Try to get rid of unnecessary excitement! Be confident! Your companion’s consent to the rendezvous means that he or she has shown interest in you. Never consider yourself less worthy, beautiful, successful than your potential choice or chosen one. Self-confident people attract others like a magnet.
2. Pay attention to your appearance
“Meet on clothes…” – this rule has not been canceled. Unfortunately, men often forget about it. Sometimes representatives of the stronger sex loudly complain that the young ladies reject them because of an unsportsmanlike figure, low wages, lack of own housing or a car…
In fact, the reasons for failures are often quite different. Unlucky gentlemen often come on a first date in stale shirts, crumpled trousers and uncleaned shoes. Ladies tend to pay more attention to their appearance.
“You can dress modestly, but neatly and elegantly. For me, the most important thing is that the man realized that I was waiting for a meeting with him and was preparing for this date,” says the accountant Olga.
3. No flowers!
A man does not have to be on a first date with a luxurious bouquet of flowers, but to give his companion at least one rose or three tulips is necessary. “Recently, I met several times with the gentlemen from the Dating site, which came to a date without flowers, dressed in scruffy clothes. The second time I did not want to see them,” – said the student Veronica.
4. Cozy cafe is the best meeting place
You can argue for a long time about where to spend the first date. In the Museum? In the Park? A movie? The theater? And yet it was the cafe that became a classic meeting place. In recent years, cozy catering establishments have appeared not only in almost every district center, but also in many rural settlements.
5. Always pays a man
In some foreign countries, it is customary to split the bill during the first date: everyone pays for himself. In Russia, this tradition has not taken root. A real man will always pay in a cafe or restaurant for a lady and will not let her get a purse from her purse.
On the other hand, young ladies should not order the most expensive dishes from the menu. During the first meeting it is possible to do salad and dessert.
6. Don’t forget the compliments!
This advice is primarily addressed to the ladies. Many of them believe that it is the gentlemen should shower them with compliments, and the lady can only graciously accept the words of admiration… In fact, men also love when they are praised. Pay attention to the well-chosen tie of your companion, kindly respond about his profession, hobby, etc. an Occasion for a compliment if you want you can always find.
7. Don’t brag!
“Recently I invited Lyudmila, a new accountant from our office, to a romantic date, – says Andrey, a programmer. She’s been bragging about herself all night. Like, and she knows how to cook better than any chef, and sews, and knits, and cross embroiders, and the children can handle… I got the impression that Luda is so eager to get married quickly, which advertises itself as a stale product on the market.
Bragging and boasting produce both men and women the most negative impression. Do not emphasize your positive qualities and success in life. Give your companion or companion to make your own impression!
8. Don’t complain!
Not only do not like bouncers, but the whiners of both sexes. Do not burden the vis-a-vis with stories about their problems or diseases. It is better to have a casual conversation: about the weather, vacation, Hobbies, travel.
9. Avoid talking about political, religious and national topics!
Taxi driver Dmitry during a rendezvous with his new friend Galina mentioned that he was already tired of “seeing priests on TV”. The young man did not know that the Ukrainian is an active parishioner of the Church, and the fact that he disparagingly called priests priests, insulted her. Despite Dmitri’s apology, she didn’t want to see him again.
10. Be friendly, but unobtrusive!
Previously, it was believed that a woman should not be the first to call or write to a man. Her, they say, we should expect his reaction… Now customs are not so strict. Each side can take the initiative.
However, you do not need to be obsessive or Intrusive! Make it clear to the vis-a-vis that you have a life of your own.